


Kitty Writes A Musical

by PikaPals16



Series: Six Queens Under One Roof [7]
Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Beheaded Cousins, Composing, Musical References, Writing, henry sucks, mostly boleyn and howard, musical writing, once again:, uhh what else do i put here?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:20:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24299500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PikaPals16/pseuds/PikaPals16
Summary: Her research completed, Kitty starts the harder parr-t of musical making. (With Anne's help)
Relationships: Anne Boleyn & Katherine Howard
Series: Six Queens Under One Roof [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707313
Comments: 52
Kudos: 132





	1. Basic plot and stuff

_Oh come on! I know I put it in here! _At this point I'm frantically turning over things looking for my sheet music folder. _Come on! I am NOT rewriting everything._ When I don't find it, I exit the music room and start looking around the main floor. _Maybe I left it here?_ I don't want to, but I'm about to ask one of the other queens if they've seen it--which would mean putting the surprise at risk. That is, until I see someone waving it from the stairs. And the giggling that came with it confirmed the identity of the thief.

"ANNE!" I ran up the stairs after the green queen, and followed her into her bedroom. As soon as I stepped foot inside, the door locks behind me. "What the hell Anne?"

"What the hell _me_? What the hell _you_? Did you really think you could write a musical without me?" I quickly shush Anne, covering her mouth with my hand.

"I don't want anyone else finding out just yet." The second queen rolls her eyes before nodding. _Good._ "Plus, I was gonna ask for your help anyway." She smirks.

"Glad to see I was wanted from the start." This time I roll my eyes, and the two of us plop down onto Anne's bed. "Now, gimme context." I tilt my head in confusion. "What's your idea for this musical? What's the plot? What's the shazam? The twist? The--"

"Okay okay I get it!" I laugh out, punching Anne's arm in the process. "Basically, the six of us are in a band, and we're performing a 'concert' for the audience." I make quotation marks as I say 'concert'.

"Good start, what's our band called? It's gotta be sick." I shake my head.

"Haven't come up with it yet. It's gotta be good 'cause I figure it should also be the name of the musical itself." She nods.

"Makes sense. So, what's the plot?"

"Well, I was thinking we tell the audience that we need help choosing the leader of the band. You know, since so many people argue over who's the most important wife."

"And so, we hold a competition to see who had the worst life! And she shall be the winner!" My eyes widen. _How....._

"That.....was......exactly what I was going for what the hell?" Anne gives me a wink, causing me to burst into laughter.

"What can I say, I'm _that_ good." I playfully shove her. "So, how does it end?" I think about it for a second. _I......haven't thought of it yet?_

"Uhh.....well if we put ourselves into the situation then......." _Ah! Come on Kitty! Come up with something!_ "We'd probably get into a huge fight over it.......then.......Cathy would want us to stop, and eventually convince us that there's no point in fighting." The green queen shrugs.

"Makes sense. Pretty good for on the spot."

"SHUT UP!" She sticks her tongue out at me, and I mimic her action. "So then it's like, we realize throughout history, if we weren't married to Henry, we'd ultimately be forgotten. And then the last song is us rewriting our stories." A lightbulb turns on inside Anne's head.

"So _that's_ why you asked us that!" I nod proudly.

"And then, at the _very_ end, there's this really cool mashup of all our songs!"

"OOOOH! We should allow people to film it!! That way it gets all this popularity!!!"

"OH MY GOD YES!!" Realizing how loud we are, we quickly shut our mouths, hoping no one has heard. Suddenly, an alarm goes off on Anne's phone.

"Sh*t. I gotta bounce. Start tomorrow KitKat?" I'm disappointed, but seeing as tomorrow's Friday, we'll have a lot of time to work on the musical.

"Wait." I rip the first page out of my notebook and hand it to her. "It's just some notes on what I'm thinking for the songs; and in case you come up with any ideas." She turns to me with a nod, and sticks it in her pocket. "Meet me in the music room when you get home."

_We're gonna make this epic._


	2. Ex-Wives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Beheaded Cousins write the first song (and talking parts)

_Ugh. Why does traffic have to exist?_ I'm later home than usual, meaning Anne's probably waiting for me. I head into the music room, closing the door behind me and dropping my bag at the doorway. Anne is sitting on the piano bench, scrolling, through what I presume is tumblr, on her phone and looks up at me at my entrance.

"About time."

"Traffic." Anne makes an 'O' with her mouth. She pats the space next to her, and I take a seat next to her. "Ready to start?"

"One sec. How do you presume we do the whole band and recording stuff and all that?" _Thank god I came up with that already._

"Well, we can record the two of us singing the songs initially, then after we reveal the musical, we'll have the others sing their own parts." The green queen nods. "Then, as for instruments, I can play piano and, I'm pretty sure I can figure out how to play the bass. I was wondering if you could do the drums and guitar for the initial recording. Then, when everything's finished and we get the others' approval, we can get four people to play our ladies in waiting."

"Wait....ladies?" _Oh right._

"Well, they never get any attention, so I was hoping we name the band members after them." The second queen's smile grows.

"That's a GREAT idea! And, as for the instrument playing, you can count on me! Drums aren't that hard to play, and then Maggie's been giving me guitar lessons so--"

"Wait Maggie's back?!" I interrupt the ecstatic queen. "How come you never told me? You haven't told any of the others either have you?!" _If their ladies in waiting are back, then Rocky would be back too right?_ Anne's pursing her lips, not meeting my eyes. _Oh boy._ "Anne?" I ask softly. _Why wouldn't she want anyone to know?_

"I have. I've told Catalina, and Jane, and Anna. The four of us didn't want you or Cath finding out."

"But.....why?" My older cousin takes a breath.

"Because, like the six of us, the universe brought our ladies to the same house. But......" Anne trails off.

"But?"

"But they said they haven't seen any sign of Rocky or Maud, your ladies in waiting." _Sh*t._ "I'm sorry Kat." _SH*T._ "You okay?" _SH*T!_ I clench my fists, fighting back the tears.

"Right when I had hopes of seeing her again. Why do you have to play me like this?!?" I yell at no one in particular. _She was a friend. She was my friend. She was my only friend back then. F*cking universe._ Anne wraps her arms around my shoulders, holding me close.

"Sorry you only found out now. Man, I killed the mood." My anger/sadness ceases, and I wipe the droplets away from my eyes.

"It's not your fault, but at this point, I just wanna start writing." The green queen lets me go, giving me a salute.

"Yes ma'am!" Her little antic brings the mood back up, and I'm once again smiling. "But, last question: why only 8 songs?" I shrug.

"I wanted to keep it simple I guess. It doesn't need 100 songs for it to be good--like Dear Evan Hansen?"

"Okay, if that's a diss towards Hamilton, shut up." _I can't help it if I'm not a fan of Hamilton._ "However, I guess you're right." _Uh, yeah I am. Plus, Dear Evan Hansen is the best._ "So, most opening songs have some sort of repeated phrase that gets stuck in people's heads." 

"CHRISTIIIINNNEEE~" I yell sing out.

"Exactly my point. SO, our musical needs something like that--"

"Got it." I stick with the first idea that pops into my head. "How about this: _Divorced, Beheaded, Died. Badadundun. Divorced, Beheaded, Survived. Badadundun._ "

"That is perfect." I beam at the obviously brilliant idea I had, and the Anne agrees. "Also, while I was at work, I had this really good idea for a chorus, listen." Anne positions her hands on the keys. " _Welcome to the show, to the histo-remix. Switching up the flow, as we add the prefix. Everybody knows that we used to be six wives._ " My eyes widen.

"Oh my god that's great. Love the pun. OOH! And then, we can have a second part to it, where each time we repeat it it's a different rhyme. But I think they should all end the same. Like um..." I quickly think of some lyrics to go with Anne's melody. " _Everybody knows that we used to be six wiiiiiiiiives. But now we're ex-wives._ " The green queen eagerly agrees. "Now, for the verses."

"Each of us should get a line. Seeing as it _is_ the first song." I nod, adding on right after.

"And then for the bridge, we can have longer solos introducing ourselves."

"That's such a great idea that I want to do that first." I laugh.

"You just wanna come up with your own solo."

"Well, we _are_ ourselves correct? So we'll be most in character if we do ours first, then work on the others." I hum an agreement with the second queen's proposal.

"But, we're not gonna go too heavy with the show. If this was us in real life, we'd just be dishing out all the sh*t we went through." After a moment, Anne nods her head.

"Aucun problème. Mine isn’t heavy anyway. We gotta be cheeky with these intros.” She settles herself into playing position again. “ _I’m that Boleyn girl and I’m up next. See, I broke England from the church. Yeah, I’m that sexy. Why did I lose my head? Well my sleeves may be green, but my lipstick’s red._ ” I tilt my head.

”I like the words, but maybe we could change the melody? Maybe like um...” I take my turn in using the piano, and play out a melody. When I finish, Anne nods her head.

”Yeah, but I still wanna keep the beginning the same.” 

“Okay.” I answer, glad we found a compromise. I then think about what I could do for my solo, when a certain conversation with Henry pops into my head. _Oh this is good._ “Okay I got something. _Ich bin Anna of Cleves._ ”

”Wait!” I stop, annoyed at my older cousin. “I said to do ours first.”

”Come on Annie! Trust me, I came up with a comedy moment.” Anne rolls her eyes, and cues me to proceed. “As I was saying. _Ich bin Anna of Cleves—ja! When he saw my portray, he was like—ja!_ ” I move sides as I say ‘ja’ to show it’s the rest of us saying that and not Anna. “ _But I didn’t look as good as I did in my pic. Funny how we all discuss that, but never Henry’s little—PRICK UP YOUR EARS I’m the Katherine who lost her_ head.” I hear Anne laugh as I interrupt myself. _“For my promiscuity outside of wed. Lock up your husbands, lock up your sons, K Howard is here and the fun’s beguuuuunn._ ” I add a riff at the end for extra pizzazz.

”That is GOLDEN!”

”No, Catherine is.” I joke, resulting in another laughing Anne. “Speaking of which, everything should in order of reign, so Catherine is first. You have anything for her solo?” She nods proudly.

”Of course! Gotta give my girlfriend the best solo! Well, second best.” I shove her and she would’ve fallen off if she didn’t grab onto the piano. “ANYWAY! _My name’s Catherine of Aragon, was married 24 years, I’m a paragon, of royalty. My loyalty is to the Vatican so if you try to dump me, you won’t try that again._ ”

”My turn. I got something for Cathy.” Anne takes her hands off the piano and in her lap to make room for me. “ _Five down, I’m the final wife. I saw him to the end of his life. I’m the survivor, Catherine Parr. I bet you wanna know how I got this far. I said I bet you wanna know how we got this far—Hey!_ And then this is all of us. _Do you wanna know how we got this far then—_ boom final chorus!” 

“Hell yeah! We are using that! I think we should change the last bit though, like this maybe?” She plays out a better melody. “What you think?”

”Better.” _Who haven’t we done?_ “Now we just need one for Jane.” It takes us a moment before Anne’s eyes light up.

”Got one!” She sings out. “Well, part of it—don’t make a pun right now” I stick my tongue out at her. _Puns are life, shut up._ “ _Jane_ _Seymour the only one he truly loved.”_

 _”Rude!”_ I say in time with the song; my cousin seems to dig it.

” _When my son was newly born, I died. But I’m not what I seem or am I?”_

 _”Stick around and you’ll suddenly Seymour!”_ Anne turns to me with a ‘really?’ face. “What? Aw, come on, that’s gotta stay! Pleeeeaaassseeeee??” I activate Howard Hypnosis to convince Anne with the most innocent look I can pull off as a college student. Then, with a defeated sigh, Anne gives in.

”Ugh. Fine.” I hug Anne, but I can see her rolling her eyes.

* * *

Later on, more ideas were passed around, only a few of them ultimately being dismissed, and we’ve finished the song! _Thank god!_ I take out my notebook, of which still has enough space for me to write the script. 

“Now that that’s finished, what’re we saying after, dialogue wise?” Anne asks.

”Well, we gotta introduce the band and the ladies first, then we can set up the competition.” I start writing the script.

**Anna: London how ya doin' tonight?!**

***audience screams***

"Why Anna?"

"Just 'cause. We don't _always_ have to be in order you know." Anne picks up the notebook and scribbles her own line into it.

**Anne: She said, HOW YA DOIN' TONIGHT?**

***audience screams louder***

"Let's have Jane speak next." When the green queen tilts her head, I show her the random number generator. "It's a random order right?" She rolls her eyes and turns back to the notebook, sure enough, writing down Jane's name.

**Jane: We are**

"Can I add this thing where we always sing the name of our band in harmony?"

"Uh, yeah! Just don't put the name in yet--still gotta figure that out." I look over and see what Anne's writing.

**All: _[insert band name]_**

**Jane: And welcome to our divorced beheaded live........CONCERT!**

***audience screams***

I take the notebook from her, mouthing 'my turn' as I do so. I click the number generator again. _5\. So that's me_. I make sure to click the number generator for each new queen as I continue writing.

**Kat: And London have we got a lot in store for you tonight.**

**Catherine: Mhm. We got riffs to ruffle your ruffs. *BAM* [does fancy riff]**

**Cath: Shimmies to shake off your 'shinese.**

**jane: And a whole lot of history**

**Cath: Or as we like to call it, *pause* HER-story.**

"Niiiiiccceeee. That's one pun I will accept."

"Would you call it that though?" I ask skeptically.

"Accept it, or I'm taking it out." I blow a raspberry at my cousin but don't say anything else.

* * *

We work on the script and finish just in time for Catherine to tell us that she's making dinner. Which gives us enough time to record the first song.

"So, how's this gonna work? There's six queens, and only two of us." My questions rings in the air, until the second queen breaks the silence.

"Since we're going in order, and our solos and stuff are right after each other, let's just split it in half." _As if that wasn't obvious._ "You sing the odd numbers--Lina, Jane, and you, and I'll sing the even numbers--myself, Anna, and Cath." Anne clarifies.

"Alrighty then. Sounds good."

"Though....."

"Yeah?"

"I think we oughta record the instruments first." I groan. Loudly. _Come on! I just wanna get to the recording parr-t._

"Fine. Let's get it over with." The process goes by surprisingly quickly. _Yay! Vocals!_ After a multiple attempts--due to bursting into laughter, trying to sound like the other queens, laughing at the lines we came up with, or just missing cues or stumbling over words--we finally finish recording the vocals. I look over at the program we used, making sure everything sounds okay and is all put together, as Anne cleans up the equipment. Just as said queen finishes and look over my shoulder, the door opens.

"Girls, come on out."

"But we're already out." The two of us chorus. The silver queen rolls her eyes at the common response. 

"Dinner's ready, I'm gathering everyone up? Sound familiar you two?"

"Yes, mum."

"Be right there mum." Anne and I speak at the same time. The two of us have started the habit of calling Jane mum, thanks to her permission. The third queen nods and exits, presumably to get Cathy and/or Anna. 

The two of us agree to meet back here after dinner. I save the program file before shutting the laptop and linking arms with Anne, as we head out to the dining room. _Well, this was all perfectly timed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aucun problème--no problem  
> ich bin--i am
> 
> also, the script parr-ts r from the bootleg i have, so if it’s different, sorry, i’m too broke to go see any musicals whatsoever *cries*  
> (also the bootleg says divorced beheaded live tour 'cause it's from the tour, but I changed it sooooo yeah)


	3. No Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beheaded cousins write no way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's switch it up! Anne's POV this time

It's amazing what a meal with the other queens can do to spark your imagination and creativity because I just came up with the perfect melody for Lina's solo song! Like we had agreed prior to dinner, I make my way to the music room to play around with the piano as KitKat cleans up the table (with reluctance and groaning). I play the keys until I find the right chords that had been playing in my head during dinner. Once the chord progression is figured out, I start singing the melody I came up with. _This is probably going to be the chorus, as I always like to start with that--in other words, the catchiest part._

" _You must think that I'm crazy. You wanna replace me? Baby there's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way."_ I hum the next line, not quite sure what to put there just yet. " _N-n-n-n-n-n-no way........No way......No way.....there's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way.......no way.......no way........there's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way. There's no way._ " Slow applause rings in the music room.

"You know, that's actually really good." I flip my hair like those HBIC's do in those high school movies, resulting in a burst of laughter from Kat. "But don't you think we should be writing Catherine's intro first?"

"No, we are. I was just waiting for you to finish." Kat smirks.

"Funny you should say that, because I was actually writing it during dinner. I just need to write her name in and..." Kat has the purple notebook open and is writing something in. Once she finishes, she hands it to me, and I read it over.

**Catherine: But there's only one you need to hear from tonight. London, I'm about to win this competition! Maria, gimme a beat!**

I think of what else to add, then write it down.

**OOH! Muy bien! So, since the day I arrived in England, let's just say my faith has been tested on more than one occasion.**

"Anne, I love where you're going with this, but we gotta give the audience some context."

"You can still put that in. Just start listing it after, like first, blah blah blah, then, blah blah blah."

"Okay, just tell me if it starts to get out of character or something, 'kay?" I nod, giving the notebook back to (as much as I hate to admit it) the boss, and Kat starts writing.

**First things first, I was shipped over from Spain on the night of my sweet sixteen to marry some prince called Arthur and I'm like, ok. But then, Arthur died so naturally I'm imprisoned for seven years. I was like super depressed. But still I'm like, ok.**

_Okay, that one line sounds nothing like Lina._

"You should probably change the 'super depressed' line. Lina would probably be a little sarcastic about that, so maybe...." Kat hands me the pencil, and I change the line.

**Really helped with the grieving process you know, but still I'm like, ok.**

"Do you have to be this specific about our lives?" I ask, knowing that it gets really personal to some extent for all of us.

"It's more of an in between. I'm being less specific than what you guys told me, but DEFINITELY more specific than some historians and whatnot." I make and 'O' with my mouth, and watch as the pink queen continues writing Lina's monologue.

**But then by God they rescued me just in time to marry Prince Henry.....my dead husband's brother.....okay.**

The process continues as it was, me fixing minor errors in my baby cousin's writing, and her just going for it, occasionally looking back at her notes. It's not until the last line of the 'context' that I'm questioning how well it's going.

**Suddenly, he wants to annul our marriage, move _some girl_ into _my_ palace, and move _me_ into a convent!!**

"HOLD UP!" I stop Kat, maybe a bit more aggressively than I should've. "Why are you having Catalina talk about me like that? We're _dating_? She'd never call me just ' _some girl_ ' using that tone and especially not in this context."

"Anne, calm down." _Calm down my ass._ "I'm not attacking your relationship." I give her a skeptical look. _In other words, explain yourself. Now._ "I just think we could focus more on the 'Henry was a d*ck and I had the worst time with him' aspect of it." I purse my lips. _I hate to say it, but you're the boss. I suppose you know what you're doing._

"Fine. But I'm still on edge. Hand me the script." She gives it to me, and I write down the lead-in line.

**No no no no no. I just, don't think I'd look that good in a wimple. So I'm like: No. Way.**

"Would Catherine _really_ say that?"

"Well, obviously _I_ think she'd look good in anything, but she doesn't think so. However, the line's mainly sarcastic from what I'm envisioning." The pink queen nods.

"Okay. If you say so miss future-Aragon." I punch Kat in the stomach (not too hard) out of embarrassment. "Aw, come on! You can't deny it." _Why does my cousin have to be right so often?!_

"Whatever, let's just work on the song now."

* * *

"We gotta have backing vocals."

"Yes. And we gotta include that he didn't give a sh*t about Mary."

"Yeah, yeah. OOOH! And speaking of which, we could have the pre-chorus be like us shushing her--kind of like Henry did."

"That is so creative, I'm not sure if anyone's gonna notice the genius behind it though."

"Trust me, someone will, and they'll point it out."

"Wait, are we gonna censor all cussing?"

"We could have like one or two words I think, but if there're less, we'll appeal to a broader audience because younger and older people can listen to it."

Our current situation can be described as a sort of controlled chaos. Kat and I continue to lash out ideas like last time, getting inspiration from the points in Lina's history that Kat tells me. After all, I wouldn't want to invade Lina's privacy, or the others for that matter. Right now, we've decided on some sort of storytelling along with the song. 

"So, what do we have so far?"

"First section of the first verse, choruses, and basic outline for pre-chorus, other verses, and technically the ending's just the chorus so we have that too."

 _What are we missing?_ I try to remember as my cousin stares at me in silence. _Oh right the bridge....now how to go about that......_.

"So all we need is the bridge." I say out loud. To my side, the fifth queen nods. "What if we put in the moment where she's begging for Henry to understand and rethink his decision?" Kat blinks twice.

"Wait, she didn't tell me about _that_. She just told me she continued to fight for her position and Mary's." I turn to face the youngest queen. 

"You can't tell her I'm telling you this." She raises her right arm and crosses her heart with her left. _Well, okay._ "The last day before it officially happened, her last chance to change his mind, she got down on her knees and begged Henry to back out of marrying me. She was _begging_ Kat. With tears in eyes and everything. Our Catherine." I start staring the hands in my lap. "And all I did was watch. Watch who I saw as the beautiful queen, almost completely break. It was painful." _If I had done something..._

"Anne, don't trail off like that. Everyone's always reminding you, no one in this household cares what you did back then. We were all pressured and forced, I think you the most." She wipes away tears that I didn't know had fallen. "I know you don't believe it right now, but we're all here for you." _If only it'd sink in._ "Need anything?" I scoff, not wanting to go any further into this.

"A distraction." Kat hums, a strained smile on her face. Knowing Kat, she's still worried that I'm not talking about it. "I'll be fine."

"If you say so. Then, what did you have in mind for the bridge?"

"Maybe we keep the same melody, but make it slower like..." I come up with some words, taking some directly from Catalina's mouth on that last day. " _You've got me down on my knees, please tell me what you think I've done wrong. Been humble, been loyal, I've tried to swallow my pride, all along. If you could just explain a single thing I've done to cause you pain. I'll go._ " I finish singing, and you'd think the song's completely over with the way Kat applauds.

"Can I add on?"

"Of course."

"Maybe as we lead into the 'finale' we could be like, 'no you actually don't have anything against me, you're just a jealous b--'"

"SHH! Jane might hear you." Kat rolls her eyes.

"You didn't stop me earlier." _Sh*t. Smartass._

"Whatever, do you have something to add?"

"Yes, I do. So, right after that, we like pause, to like, see if anyone's gonna respond. Obviously, you can't say she's done anything, so there's silence, and Catherine can be like: _No? You've got nothing to say. I'm not going your way. There's no way."_ She hits a note that I know Catalina could absolutely kill. "Then we go into the final chorus."

"I think you oughta have Catherine speak the 'no', rather than singing it. And like two lines later, it should be: _I'm not going away_. Rather than 'going your way'." As I provide my feedback, Kat writes down the changes.

"Okay, now, let's come up with words for the missing parts and we're done with Catherine's song!" _Thank god she didn't make the pun that time. She uses that one WAY too often._

* * *

Once we finish, we try to come up with a little line to end Lina's section. The key word is 'try' as nothing we come up with seems to work.

"How about, 'I obviously won already, so move over and let me claim my throne!'" I shake my head.

"It's not Catalina enough." The silence starts to get to me. _I feel unproductive._ Suddenly, like completely out of the blue, it hits me. "Okay okay okay. What do you think of this?"

**So...clearly I had the most to deal with from the king. AND I hit that top C, so ya know.....like Donde esta my crown?**

Kat reads it over, and her eyes light up.

"Hell yeah! One small fix though." I hand her the script, and she only erases the last word.

**crrrrrrrrrown?**

"Lina rolling her r's? Uh, YEAH!"

"Perfect, now all we gotta do it record it, and we can move on!" Because we're so in sync, we look at the clock at the same time. "And we'll have time to do your song before we turn in!"

"Then let's get going before someone yells at us to go to sleep."

So, the process starts as it did earlier, going slightly faster now that we're more accustomed to the instruments and equipment. We decided to keep our 'queen divisions' since we'll be re-recording for the actual album. In other words, Kat sings as Catherine, and I sing the backup vocals and harmonies. Once we finish, we're pretty beat.

"You want something to eat?" I ask. _My creative brain needs fuel to function._

"Yeah. But we ran out of snacks." The pink queen replies, not turning away from the program on her laptop. _Oh little do you know child._

"Wait right here." I sneak around the house until I get to the location of my secret stash. As soon as I make sure no one's looking, I take pretty much the entire bag back down to the music room. I return, and Kat's eyes widen at how much food I have. "I has food."

"I see that. How--"

"Don't ask." I interrupt, resulting in an eye roll from the youngest queen. The two of us munch on the junk food as we finish editing.

_It is time for my song._


	4. Don't Lose Your Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beheaded cousins write don't lose your head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> imma keep it in anne's pov probably for just this chapter (and the previous one too obviously)

"So. Lily Allen huh?" I ask, remembering the inspiration that my baby cousin had come up with. Kat hums in question. 

"Oh, right. I just thought your song would kind of be more upbeat--not like Catherine's song, but like in a more pop way if you catch my drift." The pink queen digs in her folder and takes out a sheet of music titled 'Don't Lose Your Head'.

"How ironic." I comment, leaning over to get a better look.

"That's the point. The way I have it right now, it's kind of like speaking in rhythm for some parts. I was hoping you could come up with a melody." She takes a breath. "Here goes. _Grew up in the French court, oui oui, bonjour. Life was a chore so I set sail. 1522, came straight to the UK, all the British dudes lame, epic fail._ "

"It's good so far, but I think you could include backing vocals for the end of the lines, like 'she set sail' and 'epic fail'."

”Okay. It’s your song.” _My song huh? It’s all mine hehe._ “And because it is your song, you take the lead. I’ll just give comments or whatever.” _Yes 'tis all mine._

"Do you have anything else for me to base it off of? As much as I'd love to make it my own, and as much as I hate to admit it, it's ultimately your musical." My baby cousin smirks.

"Oh, how polite of you to say that. But actually, I didn't come up with anymore specifics for that reason. Your song. Again, I'll just give comments. If I am giving you something to base if off of, I'd say it'd be pretty cool if we had some modern references in the musical. Like I did in the first song with Anna's solo: _Didn't look as good as I did in my pic._ " 

"Oh right, that'd be cool, I could use that, thanks." _Especially with the whole 'everybody hated me' thing._ "Okay, so Imma start with the chorus, just 'cause I'm used to it." _Okay, what's the most misunderstood thing about me? That I didn't really have a choice. But did I feel bad for him? Not really. Catalina? Obviously, she's the queen. So, chorus. Chorus._ After a little thinking, I have what's going to be the best and catchiest part of the song. "Right. What do you think of this: _Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said. I'm just tryin' to have some fun. Don't worry don't worry don't lose your head. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. LOL. Say, oh well. Or go to hell. Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said. Don't lose your head._ " Kat starts clapping a rhythm right after, as if I'm going to continue. And she's just jammin' to absolute nothing. When she realizes I'm not singing anything she turns away in embarrassment. "Thanks. It's that good it already got stuck in your head."

"I thought you were going on...." She whispers. I ruffle the pink queen's hair, and after swatting my hand away, she continues. "So what's next?" 

"Well, at this point let's just go in order." _I can't think of anything...._ "Let's try something. You sing the ensemble parts. Just start something. And I'll like 'react' to it. Like you guys are the people of the kingdom, and are just like loving all the drama that comes with my existence." Kat doesn't seem to get it at first, but seems to go along with it anyway.

"Okay. I'll just sing some random Parr-t." _I hate you._ " _Ooh._ " _Is that really all you could come up with?_

" _I wanna dance and sing._ "

" _Politics._ " _Ugh why would that be your next word?_

" _Not my thing._ "

" _Ooh._ "

" _But then I met the king. And soon my daddy said, you should try and get ahead_." I release a breath. "Wow that actually worked." The two of us giggle for a moment, and we continue writing my song.

* * *

We finish writing, however the two of us realize that I don't have any introduction.

"How could we forget to introduce the most important queen here?" The fifth queen rolls her eyes.

"Let's not go into that right now."

"You just don't want to admit it." Kat gives me a look, and I drop the subject knowing she'd only ignore me if I continue. "So, what's the last line we wrote? It's gotta flow smoothly."

**Catherine: So...clearly I had the most to deal with from the king. AND I hit that top C, so ya know.....like Donde esta my crrrrrrown?**

"Okay. So maybe you could be like: hold up, you're not the only one here." The youngest queen nods and comes up with a line for herself.

**Kat: Wait, hold on a sec, who was that other one?**

"Wait, what would be most in character for Catherine?" I motion for her to hand me the pencil. Once I retrieve it, I write down the inevitable response--that is, if this were to happen.

**Catherine: I think you're thinkin' of me!**

Kat laughs at the line as I hand back the script.

**Jane: No, there was definitely a _really_ important one.**

**Catherine: Yup. Still me!**

I don't even have to tell Kat what would be in character, for any of the queens, she's just whipping things out. _That's my baby cousin._

**Cath: Yeah, I think she like overlapped with you.**

**Anna: Yeah, the really famous controversial one that people actually care about.**

**Jane: Yeah...you know...the one you've been waiting for.**

**Others except Anne echo**

**Kat: The mystery**

**Anna: The one who changed history**

"Uhh, am I not gonna talk?" I don't mean to break Kat's writing outburst, but I can't help my curiosity. "I don't have a line yet."

"I didn't forget about you. The five of us are gonna do this whole dramatic intro thing, then when you're supposed to 'enter' right after the intro, you're sitting on the stage on your phone and you don't realize it's your turn." I put my hand on my heart in a fake offended way.

"Rude. I mean, it sounds like me let's be honest, but still."

"You mean lesbi-honest?" The push I give her is almost strong enough to push her off the bench. Once she gets back to her position, she asks, "Can I continue now?"

"Be my guest."

* * *

Once she finishes, I get a great comedic moment for after Don't Lose Your Head.

"Can I have the script?" I ask, not bothering to hide the smirk on my face. However, this makes my baby cousin very suspicious.

"What're you planning?"

"Aw, come on! Trust me! Please?" I try and use whatever Kat uses to convince us to do whatever she's asking, but I have no idea how she does it. I swear, it's like she has hypnosis or something. She trills her lips before giving in.

"Fine." I beam at the young queen as I receive the power to write in the script. I start it off simple.

**Anne: What a weekend. I'm literally like dead.**

**Kat: Wait, didn't you actually die though?**

**Anne: Yeah, it was so extra. Anyway, I'm obviously the winner, so I think I'll do another solo. So my next song is about the minute I found out Catherine of Aragon had tragically died. It's called Wearing Yellow To A Funeral. Please, sing along if you know the words. _Catherine was a massive_**

"ANNE!"

"Don't worry, I'm censoring it. I'm channelling my inner past self." _'Cause obviously she didn't care and probably deserved to be beheaded. No wait, she did deserve it._

**The other queens interrupt and stop Anne.**

"Alright, comedy moment is written hand it over." Kat reaches her hand out, waiting for me to give up the script. _Bossy Kat isn't any fun._

"Fine. But just you wait, people are gonna laugh at it." I retort before placing the notebook into the pink queen's hand.

**Anna: Who decided you were the winner?**

**Cath: She wants another turn.**

**Catherine: HAH! Over my dead body!**

"Put a pause there 'cause it's ironic. It'll let the joke sink in." I tell her. She looks at me skeptically for a second, but shakes her head and writes it down anyway. "Okay! We're done writing! Time to record my song!" I declare, only to be shushed by Kat.

"We got queens that are sleeping. Anna's been busy, and Jane and Catherine are always asleep by now. And although Cathy doesn't sleep until later, she prefers the quiet." _Yeah yeah, as if I didn't know that already._

"Fine, I'll be quieter, can we just start?" Kat laughs at my eagerness, quietly of course, and nods. "Let's get this party started."


	5. Heart of Stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beheaded cousins write heart of stone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, back to kitty's pov for the rest of it.
> 
> ALSO: kitty does NOT sing the seymour high note. it's a thing only seymour can do bc soprano powers

I groan at my alarm. Normally, I try to get as much sleep as I can on weekends 'cause college drains all of your energy. I'm about to hit snooze when I'm reminded of why I set up the alarm in the first place. _I certainly did NOT expect to get three songs done last night, so we're making great progress. At this rate, we might be able to do the reveal on Sunday!_

I quickly get out of bed, head over to my mirror, tie my hair up in a messy bun, and run over to Anne's room. The door practically slams open, and I expect to find a very annoyed Anne stirring. _Wait, if she's not here, where the hell is she?_ Knowing that we can't waste any time I quickly make my way out of the green room, only to bump into the queen I'm looking for. Her clothes seem to be hastily put on, and her hair is slightly messier than her usual bedhead.

"Anne? Where were you?" I rule out her being in the bathroom--the bathroom is at the end of the hall, where Anne came from the opposite direction. Her eyes widen at my accusation.

"Uhh, downstairs." _It's too early for you to use your acting skills Annie. I can see right through you._ I raise an eyebrow, and that gets Anne to come clean. "I was in Lina's room last night okay? Not a big deal, why are you up this early?"

"Uh, musical writing? If we get it done today, we can show it to them tomorrow." The second queen's eyes light up at the reminder. "Now fix your clothes, I don't even wanna know what you and Catherine were doing last night. Let's get this done." It's like there's a switch inside of Anne, because as soon as I say that, the excitement is quickly replaced with both annoyance and embarrassment. Regardless, she complies and I make my way down to the music room, with Anne walking in as well about ten minutes after. She's holding two mugs, one with what I presume is hot chocolate, and the other tea.

"Listen. I'm excited for the musical as well, but you can be so f*cking bossy." I don't say a word, rather I roll my eyes and hold out my arms for my tea. She hands it to me, and sits down on the bench next to me, taking a sip from her own drink. "Regardless, let's just get right down to business ye?" I nod. "Alright, how do we make a case for mum?" _Sh*t. Her life was pretty chill, how do you make a case for that?_

"Uhh, I mean, maybe we could build off of the 'I actually loved Henry' vibe." Anne cringes at the statement.

"Did she actually love him?" I softly mutter an agreement. "How do you even--you know what I don't even wanna know."

"Why don't we just start with the intro?" I hand the script to the green queen, who starts writing right after reviewing the previous lines.

**Jane: Yeah yeah anyway, I'm pretty sure it's my go next.**

**Anna: You? Puh-LEASE!**

***Queens except Seymour laugh***

**Cath: Are you for real?**

**Kat: Yeah, weren't you the one he truly loved?**

**Catherine: Didn't you give him the son he so desperately wanted?**

**Anne: Yeah, like I had a daughter and he literally chopped my head off.**

**Jane: Yeah, okay okay, you're right.**

The second queen stops.

"How do you love Henry?" She asks out loud, turning to me.

"Don't look at me, I'm too gay to function." The second queen silently agrees, slightly tilting her head in my direction. "Maybe you think that he's just misunderstood and that there's this hidden sweetness under all that fat."

"In mum's defense, he wasn't _that_ fat at the time." A little chuckle escapes my mouth. "But I think you're going somewhere with this."

* * *

 _Okay, how the heck are we writing a love song for Henry successfully?_ At this point, the two of us have managed to get a theme, melody, and first verse. 

"Hold on, check your notes." I do as Anne suggests--we're currently looking for a theme for the chorus. _Not much here. Everything moved fast....I stood by him. Wait...let's keep the storm thing from the first verse...standing strong..._ "Got anything?"

"Heart of Stone." When my cousin doesn't get it right away, I explain. "Like, staying firm and peaceful despite everything going on around her. She could've fought back like you and Catherine,"

"But she didn't 'cause she loved him." The green queen wraps up.

"Exactly, can you come up with anything for that?"

"Already got it." _That was fast._ "I had some lyric ideas, but that just solidified certain lyrics over others, in case you were wondering." She winks again, resulting in yet another fit of giggles from my mouth. "Here it is. _You can build me up. You can tear me down. You can try but I'm unbreakable. You can do your best, but I'll stand the test. You'll find that I'm unshakeable._ And that's it for now."

"We could do like, elements or something....like um. _The fire's burnt. The wind has blown. The water's dried, you'll still find stone. My heart of stone._ "

"Yeah, that's really good. Maybe for the second verse we talk about Edward and his birth a bit, that way for the bridge, it can imitate her last words or thoughts."

"And this is why I asked you to help me."

"You do realize I figured it out first right?" I roll my eyes.

"Whatever. I have something for verse 2." I clear my throat before starting. " _You say we're perfect. A perfect family. You hold us close for the world to see. And when I say you're the only one I've ever loved, I mean those words truthfully._ "

"We should have mum do some high riff for truthfully. For more buildup, you know?" _Ooh, her voice would be really good for that._ I make the note to the side. "And I wanna check up with you on this, did mum mention anything about Henry's love disappearing?"

"Well, no, but I mean we kind of included it in her monologue, so it should be fine. Did you come up with the pre-chorus...thing?" _Is the second parr-t the pre-chorus?_

"Yeah." She pauses. "Gimme a second, I just forgot." I facepalm my forehead. _Classic Annie._ "Oh wait got it. _But I know, without my son your love could disappear. And no, it isn't fair, but I don't care. 'Cause my love, will still be here._ "

"I don't know if anyone's gonna be able to hold back their tears during this song."

"That's the point. Mum's goal with this song is to make the people cry with this heartbreaking song." I nod. _Okay. Makes sense._

* * *

We manage to finish writing the song without bursting into tears, but I'm pretty sure we will during the reveal. 

"So, how do we bring the mood back up?"

"Oh, got it!"

**Jane: Because, what hurts more than a broken heart?**

***Slight pause***

**Anne: A severed head.**

The two of us burst out into laughter at the genius line. _That's sure to get a laugh out of the audience._ As the two of us simmer down, a knock is heard on the door to the music room.

"Enjoying yourselves, you two?" The soothing voice of our second mother causes us to turn around.

"Yes, mum." We chorus, beaming up at the silver queen.

"Unlike the two of you to be up this early. Special occasion?" Anne looks at me, and I can almost read her mind. Cousin powers for you. _Don't lose your head, I got this._

"Just working on something for you guys." I answer for the two of us.

"Well, just letting you guys know to set the table alright? Since you're up already." Groans escape both of our mouths. "You don't have to do it right now, I haven't made breakfast yet. Just make sure you _do_ it." Jane gives me a look--reminding me of a certain incident with Catherine, while I was in here with Cathy.

"Okaaaayy muuuuuumm." I reply, drawing out each of the words. Jane gives us a smile then shuts the door, presumably to start breakfast. "Did we capture enough mom energy in her song?" I ask as soon as I'm sure the silver queen can't hear.

"I'm sure. Ready to impersonate her?" _Right. She's number three._

"I'll try my best. Let's get the instruments recorded first, while I try to get into character." I start doing the from [Sharpay and Ryan warmup](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcDIshI-HQw) High School Musical, and Anne starts laughing at my antics. "Stop laughing Anne, you're gonna make me break character." I scold my older cousin with the least amount of smile possible. "Okay, sad. Mom energy. Heartbreaking. Make everyone cry. Got it." The green queen tries to stifle her laughs. Once she completely calms down, she grabs her guitar, and cues me to start the piano.

As I sing out the last note, tears are falling from both of our eyes. Anne yells out a cheer.

"Hell yeah! We just did that!" _Hah! We really did!_


	6. Haus Of Holbein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anne convinces kitty that they need this song in the musical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw this is after breakfast
> 
> and i know that the characters are based on real ppl, but i'm now making it canon that their middle names are the names of the actors (you'll see it in the chapter)

"No!"

"But why?"

"It's completely unnecessary!"

"But it's funny!!"

"We just got done with mum's heartbreaking song and you want to put this in here?!"

"Yes!"

"But why?!"

"BECAUSE IT BRINGS UP THE MOOD!"

"IT'S A CRACKHEAD SONG!!"

"EVEN BETTER!" I groan loudly at Anne's proposal. _Why do we need some crackhead song right before Anna's? Makes no sense._ "We put it in, as part of Anna's introduction. Show the process of being selected." _Dangit Anne! Why do you have to come up with some genius meaning behind the weirdest of things?!_ I let out another groan, and there's a moment of silence before I give in.

"Ughhhhh fine." The result? A very energetic Anne that you would think she's high. "How do you expect to transition into this song in the first place?"

"We ended with my 'severed head' line correct?" I nod, not quite sure where she's going with this. "So, the mood's already slightly up. Anna stays on stage to do a little intro and the rest of us run off stage. There's like fog machines and stuff. And then we pretend the Haus of Holbein is like Tinder or something to reference modern stuff or whatever." _You really put this much thought into this scene without getting my permission huh?_ "Just hand me the script okay? Trust me."

"I'm already trusting a lot with you, but here you go." Anne picks up the pencil and starts writing.

**Anna: Now. Seeing as Henry was running out of women to marry in England, he had to look a little further afield. He had to...adjust his location settings if you will. To find his next queen, we're going to Germany! Where he visited the house of the legendary painter. Hans.....**

**All queens (whisper): Holbein........**

"Okay fine. But it'd better not be as long as all our other songs."

* * *

"We are NOT doing German accents!"

"But WHYYYYYYY?!?"

"Anne Millie Boleyn-future-Aragon I already allowed the writing of this song. We are NOT doing accents!" I glare at the very insistent and stubborn queen. 

"Ugh fine. But I'm taking the lead on writing this one."

"Great. If it turns out bad, I'm not responsible." The comment earns me a shove from the green queen. 

"Shut up. Listen to this okay?" My cousin shoots me a quick glare, before starting what I think is the most pointless song in the musical. " _Hans Holbein goes around ze world. Painting all of ze beautiful gurls. From Spain. To France. And Germany. Ze king chooses one but which one will it be?_ "

"Not bad. But still don't see the point."

"I'm not done." I roll my eyes as Anne continues. " _You bring ze corsets. We'll bring ze cinches. No one wants a waist over nine inches. So what, ze makeup contains lead poison? At least your complexion will bring all ze boys in._ " I don't respond, waiting for Anne to explain. "The point of the song is to show how high the beauty standards were for women, and the very not safe procedures women went through to meet those standards. Then right after the song is over, we'll have the little 'Tinder' scene--we'll pretend we're the people working there, and showing Henry the different women to choose from."

"You have a point." I think over my options for a second. "It's not like I have a choice. Do you want my help?" Anne's face lights up, almost as much as it did before.

"YAY YOU'RE FINALLY COMING AROUND!" I quickly shush her, not wanting any of the other queens to walk in and ruin the surprise. "So, have any ideas?"

"Since the House is in Germany, you could use some German words in the song for like rhyming or whatever." _I can't believe I'm doing this._ "Ignore ze fear and you'll be fine. We'll turn this vier into a nine. So just say 'ja' and don't say 'nein'. 'Cause now you're in ze house, in ze Haus of Holbein." Anne looks at me proudly.

"That's my baby cousin!"

"I'M NOT A BABY!"

"Whatever you say KitKat."

_Why'd I let myself be swayed like this?_

* * *

A little while later, certainly shorter than the previous songs, we've finished Anne's crackhead song. I look over the green queen's shoulder and watch as she writes what she calls the 'Tinder scene'.

**Catherine: Ze time has come for you to select your bride your highness.**

"Did Anna tell you the names of the people he rejected?" I nod, looking through my notes to find it.

"Christina of Denmark, and Amalia of Cleves." With the new information, the second queen continues writing.

**Kat: May we present, Christina of Denmark.**

**Jane: Looking for mates, dates, and a British monarch looking to secure the line of succession.**

***swipe left***

**Anne: Nein? Ah, never mind. She already has a match with the Duke of Milan, anyhow.**

**Anna: Okay NEXT!**

**Anne: Your highness, may we present, Amalia of Cleves.**

**Cath: Just a troubled girl, trying to live ze English dream. #NoCastle #BabyDowry**

***swipe left***

**Cath: Nein? Okay not enough.**

**Catherine: Okay who's next?!**

"Nice modern referencing."

"Thanks." Anne continues writing, and monitor to make sure it's not too over the line

* * *

"Admit it. It's growing on you."

"...........No."

"It is isn't it?!"

"Shut up! Let's just record this thing and get it over with--no accents." I add the last parr-t as I know Anne was about to open her mouth and ask. I sigh.

_Here we go._


	7. Get Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beheaded cousins write get down

_Yes. I'm so glad that mess is over._

"Come on! You enjoyed recording it! You were smiling and singing along." I purse my lips. _I need to stop saying my thoughts out loud._ "What's Anna's queenspiration again?" My jaw drops.

"That was a pun." Anne verbally denies, but I'm shaking my head in disbelief. "You used a pun. The Anne Boleyn made a pun." Anne gives me a shove. After a small fit of laughter, I answer the green queen's question. "Anyway. Her inspiration is like hip hop--Nicki Minaj, or like Rihanna or something. I was also thinking at the end we have this thing like: 'Wait, that doesn't sound hard at all!' 'Oh well, back to the palace!' Because her life wasn't that hard, you know?"

"That's Anna for ya. Let's start writing the 'after Tinder' monologue." _Ugh. Don't remind me._ I roll my eyes and focus my attention to the script.

**Anna: Well, I guess you already know what happened next. I came to England, hopeful. Summoned after the king saw my portrait, and how I with my meager looks the way they are, didn't live up to his expectations.**

"Ooh. Let's talk about how old and disgusting he is."

"Already on it."

**I mean, it's the usual story, isn't it? A savvy, educated, young princess. Deemed repulsive by a wheezing, wrinkled, ulcer-riddled man 24 years her senior!**

"Wait, actually?"

"Better than me."

"True. Wait, let's make it really dramatic, 'cause her song's got to be a bop--you know, for contrast."

"Excuse me? All of them are bops. Well, except Haus of Holbein."

"Haus of Holbein is going to be the best one in the soundtrack, and you can't tell me otherwise."

Not even 15 minutes later we finish.

* * *

"We start with the bass." I tell Anne, before taking a sip of my juice.

"Wait, move over. I has idea." I comply, moving slightly over towards the edge of the bench to make room for ze second queen. _Ugh dangit Anne! This song is going to haunt me for days!_ As I snap out of my thoughts, I listen to what Anne has come up with. " _Sitting here all alone. On a throne. In a palace that I happen to own. Bring me some pheasant, keep it on the bone. Fill my goblet up to the brim._ " She stops for a second, before turning to me. "Help." I check my notes for any inspiration... _Seen as unsophisticated. Okay._

" _Sippin' on mead and I spill it on my dress with a gold lace trim. Not very prim and proper. Can't make me stop._ "

Anne and I find ourselves bopping our heads to the beat we came up with as we write the verses first; which is much different than our previous composing sessions as we tend to write the chorus first. But once we're able to start the chorus, my cousin suggests a little theme thing.

"Let's keep the theme of Tinder and have like profile picture or whatever. Like, _you. You said that I tricked ya. ‘Cause I, I didn’t look like my profile picture. Too, too bad I don't agree. So I'm gonna hang it up for everyone to see. And you can't stop me._ "

"Well, maybe we could change the end so we could include that one kid's rhyme. Like, _And you can't stop me, 'cause I'm the queen of the castle. Get down you dirty rascal GET DOWN!_ " As soon as Anne agrees, I get a totally in character and awesome idea for this scene. "WAIT what if Anna points out someone in the audience before some of the verses. Like before _When I get bored, I go to court_ and um.... _No I'm not saying I'm a gold digger, but check my prenup and go figure._ "

"Oh my gosh and then like during like the final chorus or something, we have Anna tell someone else to get up and dance with her. And then after a while, she's like _GET DOWN_! Like in time with the chorus."

"HELL YEAH!" I yell a little too loudly, as a certain mom friend scolds me for the statement. "Hell isn't a curse mum!!" I call out to her, as Anne giggles next to me. 

The two of us decide to record the song before moving on to the talking parts right after. _Okay. The parr-ts pun will never get old._ Sadly, I'm not the one singing this one, Anne is. _This is probably going to be my second favorite song or something._

* * *

After we finish recording we decide to quickly get the script done so I can help Cathy in the kitchen. Anne is working on the script, and I'm putting in simple feedback, phrasing and whatnot.

**Anna: So yeah, it was really heartbreaking.**

**Catherine: That doesn't sound difficult at all!**

**Anna: Oh yeah, I guess you're right. I probably won't win then. OH WELL! BACK TO THE PALACE!**

A knock on the door, and the beautiful Cathy Parr walks in.

"You wanna come help?" I nod eagerly and after cleaning up, I follow Cathy over to the kitchen. Anne heads to the living room, where Anna was watching some cop tv show--'Law and Order' I think. Cathy and I get to work on lunch, but I don't start until after a certain thought crosses my mind.

_Oh sh*t my song's next._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one's shorter, i was rlly busy today and wanted to keep the whole "update every day" thing up. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed!


	8. All You Wanna Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beheaded cousins (but more so kitty) write all you wanna do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAHHHHH sorry it's a day late I got grounded....

I grab a cold water bottle from the fridge before following Anne into the music room once more. _I’m gonna need it._ As I enter, I find Anne searching through my folder. I assume she’s looking at our past songs until I see the title of the one she’s currently looking at. 

“All You Wanna Do, huh?” I purse my lips, slightly embarrassed before nodding. "It's um, pretty detailed, you sure you wanna be this specific Kat?" I nod, more confidently this time.

”I’m sure.” As I say this, I take a seat next to Anne, looking at what I have written so far. _Okay so, I have the beginning of two out of four voices. I mean verses._

”So, obviously you’re taking the lead, but I’m here if you need anything ‘kay Kat?” I give a smile to my older cousin.

”Thanks Annie.” I take a breath. _I don’t wanna go into specifics right now. Not yet. So..._ “I have some lyrics for the chorus but not a melody yet. Could you....” The green queen nods, and I hand her (or more like point out) the lyrics I’m thinking of.

”Kat, this kind of sounds like you wanted to do it. Wait, hold on, same thing in Ex-Wives. What’s up with that? We all know you didn’t want to." I avoid Anne's gaze.

"Well. I wanted to make it more lighthearted because of how touchy it is. Especially for me. You should know, your song is lighthearted as well." I take a breath before continuing. "Plus, not all of it is like the sexy thing that it sounds like. If people pay attention, the chorus lyrics you're looking at? Shows I was forced. But not extremely heavy like mum's song. Mine is more focused on what happened, rather than the specific emotions I felt. You know, like No Way, or again, Heart of Stone." It's now that I turn to face the other queen in the room.

"You just want to tell people what really happened, but not show them your true feelings?" The green queen asks softly. Slowly, I nod. "Kat you shouldn't be hiding your feelings like this."

"And neither should you!" _Don't think that we don't notice Anne. Yes, you're an actress but we all see through it._ When the other queen doesn't respond, I add on. "Plus, it's just for the show. I don't exactly want an entire audience knowing absolutely everything." Anne doesn't seem entirely convinced, but I'm almost certain she knows I'm not gonna talk about it right now.

"Okay then. You wanna write the script while I think up a chorus? You asked after all." I give my cousin a faint smile and nod. "Okay. Feel free to make your intro more.....carefree I guess?" I reply with an okay, and get out the script. _I won't have to think about it for a while I guess._ I get started on my intro.

**Anne: Now that's one horse out of the race.**

**Anna: Rude.**

**Anne: Now let's take a moment to check in with the competition. So, who's still in the running? Is it the devoted wife, the divorcee, or the one who _actually_ had problems to deal with.**

**Jane: Wait a second, my son had to deal with the loss of his mother.**

**Anne: Yeah, and it seems that my body had to deal with the loss of its head!**

**Catherine: Please please, come on now. Don't you see what's happening? Comparing your losses isn't going to change the fact that I've already won.**

**Cath: Okay, I think its time to hear from our next queen Katherine Howard!**

**Anne: Sorry, who?**

**Catherine: Oh yeah! You remember. The least relevant Catherine.**

**Anne: Oh no, yeah. We still don't care.**

**Kat: Oh, haha. Funny.**

**Catherine: Yeah. Speaking of funny, good luck trying to compete with us. Honey!**

***BAM* (Music)**

Anne looks over my shoulder as I write my own monologue. _Okay. She's done._ To be honest, the monologue is mostly me roasting the other queens, but it doesn't really matter. It's all in character anyway. The green queen giggles at some of the roasts I write down, agreeing every now and then. As I finish, I put down the script and pencil, and turn towards my cousin. _Okay. Now I'm ready._

* * *

"You good?" I nod, which gives the second queen the non-verbal cue to start. "Okay. Here's what I have: _All you wanna do, all you wanna do babe is touch me, love me, can't get enough-see. All you wanna do, all you wanna do babe is please me, squeeze me, birds and the bees me. Run your fingers through my hair, tell me. I'm the fairest of the fair. Playtime's over. The only thing you wanna do is._ " Anne makes a kissing sound then sighs. "Then go into the verse." I realize I haven't spoken for a bit too long as Anne clears her throat.

"Oh. Sorry. It's good. Thanks." I take another breath. _I can do this._ "Can you tell me what you think of this?" I get a reassuring nod from the green queen, and I start. "This is the first verse. _Broad, dark, sexy Manox. Taught me all about dynamics. He was twenty-three. And I was thirteen going on thirty. We spent hours strummin' the lute. Strickin' the chords and blowin' the flute. He plucked my strings all the way to G, went from major to minor. C to D."_ I can tell Anne is a little uncomfortable as she doesn't answer right away.

"Um. There's a lot of..." She clears her throat. "Innuendos. You absolutely sure you want all this? You don't have to force yourself Kitkat."

"I want the uncomfortable feeling." My sentences are short and quick. I don't want to talk in depth, or accidentally trigger something. "I want the pre-chorus to be like how I trusted them sort of, and..." _I guess I do gotta talk about it._ "How they kinda tricked me and told me that I was all they needed. It kinda made me feel.....special? I don't know."

"Well, you couldn't help it." I don't realize my neck heating up until Anne presses the water bottle on it. "You were practically a child. 13? Kat, you didn't know any better." I nod slowly.

"Okay." I turn my attention back to the piano. "Anyway. Here it is. _Tell me what you need. What you want you don't need to plead. 'Cause I feel the chemistry. Like I get you and you get me and maybe this is it. He just cares so much, it feels legit. We have a connection. I think this guy is different. 'Cause._ And chorus. I was also thinking of changing it slightly each time, because I'm realizing a little more. Like, _I'm sure this time is different,_ or _I guess it's not so different._ "

"Gotta be honest, that's a pretty good way to hide it. Like make it seem more on the lighthearted side, but in reality it's really dark." I nod. _You know, I don't see why people think Anne is the dumb one. She's actually really smart._ "So, what's the bridge then?"

"So. It's gonna be after the Thomas verse, kind of starting at the pre-chorus. _He says we have a connection.... I thought this time was different. Why did I think he'd be different? But it's never. EVER! Different!!_ " _They hurt me. They always did._ "' _Cause all you wanna do, all you wanna do babe is touch me, when will ENOUGH BE ENOUGH see?!_ " _If only I was stronger. Maybe they would've stopped._ " _All you wanna do, all you wanna do babe is squeeze me, don't care if you don't please me!!" Or they just didn't care about me. I'm nothing but a toy after all. Is that really all I am?_ " _Bite my lip and pull my hair as you tell me I'm the fairest of the fair!" There's no point. "Playtime's over." Not like anyone cares. "Playtime's over." Does anyone care? "Playtime's over." No, they don't. "The only thing the only thing the ONLY thing you wanna do is._" Anne touches my knee and I immediately jump, sort of mixing the kissing sound and a squeal and a gasp.

"Sorry. You were spiraling? But through song." I wince at the more prominent pain on my scar. "And um, the others are here." I turn towards the door, and sure enough the four remaining queens are there, worried expressions clear on their face. I glance at my cousin, who has put away anything that would indicate what the project is; besides the sheet music for All You Wanna Do. She doesn't say or do anything, but just purses her lips.

"Kat, were you......scream singing? Spiral singing? Uh....." Catherine starts.

"We just got worried because we heard you." Jane concludes. Anna slowly walks forward and hands me an icepack. _This'll do better than the water bottle._

"Do I matter?" I find myself speaking without thinking. "Like really matter? Like as a person?" No one quite knows what to say, and next to me, Anne seems to have tensed up. 

"Of course you do Kat. Why would you say that?" Jane decides on saying.

"Because no one back then cared. None of them did. Sure, there was Anna, but that was really formal, and just polite stranger WHATEVER THE HECK YOU CALL IT." My older cousin seems to tense more at the loud volume, so I tone it down. "If _anyone_ cared, it was Rocky. And while you guys get to hang out with _your_ old friends, _I_ have to live with the fact that I will NEVER see the ONE person I truly called my friend EVER AGAIN! I thought I could trust them I really did. A-and I've said it before, you have NO IDEA how badly they hurt me. And when I died not a single person aside from Rocky cared. So I figure no one else does. And if no one cares, then I don't matter." When I finish ranting, Cathy walks up to me and sits in front of me.

"Katherine Howard you listen to me. Whoever says that you don't matter can go rot in hell. I don't care what you think about yourself, but you need to hear this. _We_ care. You say that no one cares about you, but the five of us do. Anne, Jane, Anna, Catherine, and I. I understand they hurt you, and that none of us will understand how painful it was--is. But all of us are here for you, and we will make sure that no one hurts you like that again." Mutters of agreement come from the others.

"You trust us right?" Anna is now the one talking, slowly making her way towards the bench. Not wanting to talk, I nod. "And we're all friends right?" I nod again as Anna takes a seat on the bench, the side opposite from Anne so that I'm in the middle. "So you do have people who care for you." For the first time in a while, I smile. _Yeah. I guess I do._ I wipe my eyes free of the tears that had fallen.

"Thank you. I think I'm good now." All the queens in my presence don't seem to believe me.

"Are you sure Howard?" Catherine clarifies.

"I wanna finish the surprise Anne and I are making. Trust me, it'll all be worth it in the end." Anna, Cathy, Jane and Catherine say something along the lines of 'okay'. "Could you all stay nearby though? Just in case?" More 'okays' come from the four queens. Cathy gives me a quick peck on the cheek, and she, along with the red, silver and gold queens exit the music room. Once they do, Anne seems to relax.

"You good?"

"Let's finish this."

* * *

Every now and then Anne went inside to grab someone so I felt a little more safe, and so I had some more reassurance; but right now we've finished. We poke our heads out to tell the others that everything's good and they can go about their business once more.

"Feel good to get done composing and recording?" I breathe a sigh of relief at Anne's reminder as we sit back down.

"Yeah. So now we can move on to the fight scene!"

"..........fight scene?"

"Well, since Cathy is going to convince us not to fight, I figure we should have this really big argument in between my song and hers."

"Okay, I'll start writing then."

**Kat: And THEN I was beheaded.**

**Cath: Wow, that got really real just then.**

**Kat: Yeah, yeah, I guess it did. And you know by the rules of the competition, I am now the leading lady of the group Maria HIT IT!**

***the queens talk over each other***

**Jane: You had it bad, but that was not the most heart wrenching song we’ve heard this evening.**

**Kat: Um, excuse me? Were you not listening to my song? There were four choruses. THATS HOW MUCH SH— I had to deal with.**

**Anne: Yeah, being manipulated by those who payed the price. None of us could possibly--oh wait I did experience that.**

**Catherine: Yeah. For like the last five minutes of your marriage Anne!**

"Wait, can I make Catherine be all dramatic and whatnot?" Anne eagerly agrees and hands the script over so I can write it.

**Men have manipulated me from day one! I was literally shipped over from a foreign country, not knowing a single word of English to marry some random dude!**

**Anna: OH MY GOD SAME!**

**Catherine: Oh okay, fine. Fine. But then, when Henry decided that he had enough of me, he didn't even have the decency to say goodbye!**

**Anne: Uh same.**

**Kat: Oh yeah, same! Nice neck by the way.**

***Anne and Kat hi-five***

"Yes. Just yes." Anne quickly comments.

**Catherine: OKAY, how about this. When my one and only child had a raging fever, Henry didn't let me. Her _mother_ \--**

**Jane (interrupting): SOOOO BOO HOO! Maybe Mary had the chicken pox and you were there to hold her hand you know, it's funny. Because when I wanted to hold my newborn son, I DIED!**

"Anna should just be vibe-ing off to the side." We quickly exchange the script.

**Anna: Guys I have the plague!**

***queens are worried***

**Anna: LOL just kidding, my life's amazing!**

* * *

After finishing the fight scene, the two of us head out and get some snacks before moving on to the last solo song.

_I'm gonna make this one good. For Cathy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the bootleg puts aragon's "men have manipulated me from day one" monologue before aywd but I decided to put it after for the sake of the fight scene (that's on youtube)
> 
> again, sorry it's late. I hoped you enjoyed regardless (and thank god I was only grounded for a day)


	9. I Don't Need Your Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beheaded cousins write i don't need your love

We finish our snacks outside, just to get away from the music room for a little bit.

"Alrighty. Back to work." Surprisingly, Anne is the one to initiate the end of break. The two of us get up from the couch and stretch a bit before walking back to the work space. "So. You didn't give me enough to work with." Anne says, holding up the sheet of notes I gave her at the start.

"What are you talking about? Her queenspiration is Alicia Keys. How is that not enough for your intelligent mind?" _If this is your case, you may need to pay more attention._ The green queen rolls her eyes.

"Just start the process. I'll catch up."

"If you say so." I almost start coming up with ideas for the last queen's song before I remember to write the script first.

**Cath: STOP! That's enough!**

**Anna: Yes, she's right. Catherine, your turn. Take it away.**

***the start of a new song begins, but Cath doesn't start singing***

**Cath: You know what? I'm good.**

***music stops***

**Thanks. Yeah. I can't keep, I can't keep doing this.**

"Put an awkward silence in because in character, none of us expected it." I nod and write it in.

***awkward silence***

**Anne: hehe........ What?**

**Cath: Sorry. I'm sorry but.....it's just um....we're here, in front of all these people, just being like: "Let's see who gets the biggest cheer! Trauma! Abuse! Whoo! Should we really be doing this?**

**Jane: I mean, we've literally been doing it for the last hour so...**

**Cath: I know, but. Miscarriages? Really? Surely that a bit...**

***the queens start ooh-ing***

**Anna: Someone's got a conscience all of a sudden!**

**Kat (imitating Cath): I'm Catherine Parr. I draw the line in arbitrary places.**

**Catherine: You know what queens? She just knows she's not gonna win.**

**Jane: Yeah, yeah so she's trying to make us look stupid by playing by the rules unlike everyone else.**

***the queens laugh and form a circle, purposely excluding Cath***

"Uh, Kat I'm pretty sure we wouldn't stoop that low."

"Yeah. I feel kind of bad for exaggerating it. Should I take it out?"

"That's the problem, it makes sense plot-wise." The green queen takes a moment to think before making a decision. "Why don't we keep it in for now, and see what the others think of it when we reveal it?" I agree, and turn to finish Cathy's intro. 

_I still feel bad, but I guess in the end it's up to Cathy._

* * *

"So her story is 'I had to leave my one true love to marry Henry and also I'm like super under-appreciated but I don't really care because I don't wanna be defined by Henry' correct?" Anne summarizes after I tell her Cath's story--not all of it, but just enough, and up to 'Henry died'.

"Uhhhhhh yeah basically. I know she wants to feel more 'seen' if you will, but I want to use that as parr-t of her reasoning to get us to stop competing." 

"Okay, it's good, but if you make one more pun with Cath's name, I will walk out of this room and tell everyone what you're up to." Anne gets all up in my face, giving me a death stare.

"Please don't. I'll stop. Promise." I manage to squeak out. "So, did you come up with a start?" I say once we've returned to our original positions.

"You said she had to write a letter to Thomas right?" I nod. "Well, I was thinking we have her song kind of be her writing the letter to Thomas. So her cue line would be, 'Dear Thomas,' and then she starts singing." She plays a B flat major 7th as she starts singing. " _You know I love you boy. In every single way. Though I love you boy, I'll miss you everyday. Oh I love you boy. I wish that I could stay with you, and keep the life I made with you._ " The second queen slows down.

"Can I add on?" My cousin answers by making enough space for me that I can play. I clear my throat. " _And even though this feels so right. I'm holding back the tears tonight..._ " _I can't really relate to how you feel with Thomas, but I can write down how I feel about you._ " _It's true I'll never be over you. 'Cause I have built a future in my mind with you. And now the hope is gone, there's nothing left for me to do. You know it isn't true. But I must say to you, that I don't need your love. No, no. I don't need your love. No, no. It'll never be better than it was, no, no. But I don't need your love, no, no._ "

"First off, that's gotta be the chorus, it's really good. Second, the next verse should be about like how she had no choice--a recurring theme--but I just got this idea for like a third verse? I don't know what to call it, but listen. _So I sent that letter to my love got married to the king. Became the one who survived. I've told you about my life, the final wife. But why should that stop me, be the one I have to sing about. Just to win? I'm out. That's not my story. There's so much more--_ " 

" _Remember that I was a writer. I wrote books, and psalms, and meditations._ " I find myself jumping in. " _Fought for female education. So all my women could independently study scripture. I even got a woman to paint my picture. Why I gotta tell that story? 'Cause in history,_ " 

"Wait, is it history, or his story?" Anne quickly asks.

"I think it should be both. You know, like a double meaning. Because we're all seen like 'this'," My hands move over to one side, as if placing our 'story's' into a section. "in both history and his story."

"Alright then. Continue m'lady." I give the green queen a smirk before trailing back a line.

" _'Cause in his story, I'm fixed as one of six._ "

" _And without him, I disappear._ _We all disappear_." 

"NO ONE DESERVES TO DISAPPEAR!!" My older cousin pinches the bridge of her nose. _Sorry Anne, I can't help myself. I love Dear Evan Hansen._ "Sorry."

"Anyway, I thought that maybe in the middle of the song, we have this talking part" I purse my lips to prevent myself from making the pun. "where Cath explain why the fighting is pointless. It's not gonna be in the recording, 'cause that would make it pretty long, but we'll have it in the show." After she explains it I eagerly agree.

"Here, write it down."

**Anne: Wait...I don't get it.**

**Cath: Okay, look. Why does anyone know who we are?**

**Anne: My sick finger.**

**Catherine: Put it away babe!**

".......But you don't have a sixth finger?" Anne holds up her pointer, as if to shush me.

"That's why I said sick. Plus, it's funny." I just shrug and let her continue on with her business.

**Cath: No. Okay, let me put it in a different way. Who was Henry the VII's wife?**

**Anne: Don't know.**

**Cath: Anyone?**

***say something along the lines of no***

**Cath: And who was Henry the VI's wife?**

***say something along the lines of no***

**Cath: And Henry the V's wife?**

***say something along the lines of no***

"Wait lemme add something.."

**Kat: Catherine of Valois--I MEAN WE DON'T KNOW**

"How the heck do you know that?"

"I'm a history minor, Anne. I like history."

**Cath: The point is. Is that the only reason why any of these people have come here tonight is because once upon a time....**

**Catherine: The same guy fell in love with us.**

**Cath: Right.**

We continue writing the little interlude scene. Once we've finished, we both breathe out a sigh.

"Okay, hear me out on this. After this scene, the other five of us join in, because Cathy has successfully convinced us against comparing ourselves." I propose. Anne nods, trying to understand what I'm going at. 

"Okay, how so?"

"Well, we each have a line again, sort of like Ex-Wives, and then we all sing unison. Um.... _So we had no choice._ " I make the decision to switch sides whenever it's a new person, which results in? A very chaotic me. " _But now it's us alone. So we had no choice. Yeah we got no choice. We're taking back the microphone. I'm gonna raise my voice._ " _At least now it's unison._ " _They always said we need your love, but it's time for us to rise above!_ "

"I know you said unison, but we'll have to do harmonies for 'above'. Unless you wanna try and get Lina, Anna, and Cath to sing that high note." 

"Ah. Guess you're right. Ok. That's fine. Let's do the rest of the song!"

* * *

Script. Compose. More script. More composing. Instruments. Vocals. _And we're done!_

"The final step!"

"The after-song!"

"Is that a term?"

"It is now."

"Okay. Imma write now."

**Cath: London! We have a voice! We said, we have a voooiiiiccee!**

"Is that supposed to be a riff?"

"Uh...yeah, let me note that......good!"

**And it's time to....well, we're all the leading ladies, that's what we want!**

**Anna: London, we might just be remembered for being married to Henry but,**

**Catherine: But why does anyone give a sh-- who he is?**

**Anne: His continental complaining.**

**Jane: His religious reforms.**

**Catherine: Well actually**

**Kat: It's not the time Catherine.**

**Cath: Or maybe it's because of his**

**All (harmonizing): SIX WIIIIIIIIVES!**

"Anne. Kat." The two of us turn towards the door, to find Catherine, wearing a yellow sweater and leggings. "Dinner. We're eating in the backyard tonight, it's nice out." Anne and I glance at each other with growing smiles and excitement. 

"Be right there Lina!" Anne answers. The two of us quickly clean up what we were using, and I quickly press save on the project on my laptop. Apparently Catherine just stood watching, because when I finish and turn around, she's still in the doorway. Anne and I walk out the door, the former latching on to Catherine's arm and pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Thanks for waiting babe." I roll my eyes at the couple (even though they're cute as hell).

_Okay. The last song, and the mashup is left. Final stretch. Let's go!_


	10. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beheaded cousins write the technically last song

_Okay I have to use ALL of them now._ Dinner outside was great, yet strange. Jane, Anna, and Catherine each seemed to be humming a tune while they were setting up, eating, cleaning up, respectively. It wasn't a tune a recognized from another song, and when I asked, they said they had made them up. _So three unique melodies to put into what I'm gonna make the best song in the musical._

"You haven't written the last song yet, and you think it's the best?" _Damnit I need to stop saying my thoughts out loud._

"My favorite songs are always the ending ones. I gotta give them justice."

"Name your favorite songs in four musicals."

"Seventeen Reprise from Heathers, Voices in My Head from Be More Chill, I See Stars from Mean Girls, I Got You from Bring It On." Anne blinks twice. "Satisfied?"

"MAY YOU ALWAYS BE SATISFIED!"

"SHUT UP!" Our yelling causes Jane to yell at us to 'stop yelling and be nice to each other' in the most mom-friend way possible. "Anyway. Final stretch. Let's start."

"Already on it."

**Kat: Alright! Before we go, we wanna leave you with this.**

**Catherine: We can redefine how we tell our stories, but we can't rewrite them.**

**Jane: And we wish we could tell you our lives had happy endings,**

**Anna: In reality, they didn't.**

**Cath: And there's nothing we can do to change that.**

**Anne: Oh well.**

***queens turn around and start to exit***

"It's so sappy Anne."

"Gimme a second! I'm gonna add something but it's gotta be sappy 'cause it's the end."

**Anne: Hold up!**

***turn around again***

**Anne: This is OUR show and we can have literally whatever ending we want.**

"Wait, I wanna write!" I plead like a young child, convincing to the extent that Anne hands it over.

**Kat: So London, seeing as we have five minutes left in the show,**

**Anna: We've decided to give you our own,**

**Jane: Slightly edited versions**

**Anna: Of what actually went down all those years ago.**

**Cath: Because after all...**

* * *

"Now. Here's where I'm thinking we do a slow version of the chorus. Problem is, said chorus doesn't exist yet. However, Jane was humming this melody as she was setting up, and I thought we could use it. Anna and Catherine were also humming, but I figured that can be for the verses. Here's Jane's melody." I hum out the tune that had been engraved into my mind, the green queen nodding along. As I finish, someone knocks on the door. It opens to reveal my wonderful girlfriend Cathy Parr, who seems to be holding a piece of paper?

"Hey. Don't mean to disturb your writing process, but I found one of my older poems. Wondered if you wanted to use it in one of your songs." Our eyes widen as we give each other side glances. The blue queen gives a little chuckle. "I just figured that's what you were doing. You know, since you've been in this room since you got home yesterday? Only coming out for meals?" _Oh thank god she doesn't know._ I get up to retrieve the poem, Cathy meeting me halfway. I quickly scan the poem. _How is this exactly what I was thinking of?_

"It's great! Thanks babe! It's....surprisingly exactly what I was looking for!" Cathy gives me a smile.

"Glad I could help." Before leaving, the last queen pecks me on the cheek and I return the favor. She closes the door as I eagerly make my way back to the piano.

"Remind me not to be third-wheeled with you two." Anne comments upon my arrival.

"As if I wasn't third-wheeled right before dinner with you and Catherine."

"Just add the lyrics." _Think before you speak Anne._

"Alrighty then." I place the poem on the music rack so I can look at the words as I sing Jane's melody. " _We're one of a kind. No category. Too many years lost in history. We're free to take our crowning glory for five more minutes. We're six!_ "

"Whoa. I can't tell who's the genius, you for coming up with the idea, or Cath for unknowingly writing the lyrics." I giggle at Anne's compliments. "It genuinely sounds like we're counting up to six."

"I'll have to thank Cathy later. It's perfect!"

"You can say that again. Now, for the verses, we should each have our own section where we retell our stories. Maybe use Lina's tune?"

"Yeah, that's good, but I also wanted to use Anna's tune for the verses. I had this idea for the bridge where we go back to the first song-- Ex-Wives -- and kind of be like 'look how far we've gotten' you know?"

"Maybe we have Anna's tune for the queens right before the chorus. So, Jane and Cath." I nod.

"Yeah. Sounds good." A moment of silence passes before Anne starts brainstorming.

"So. What was Lina's retelling? It involves me doesn't it?" Anne flips her hair dramatically, causing me to burst into laughter.

"There's a reason a said retell your past lives. Each one of you just wanted to stay here in the 21st century. Don't get me wrong, I love you guys to death and I wouldn't trade it for the world, but seriously. Every single time I had to clarify that we'd still end up where we are today, you guys dig too deep."

"Are you gonna tell me or not?" _Gah. Stop digressing._

"Ah, sorry." I quickly turn to Catherine's page to recall what the golden queen had said. "She said that she'd want to move into the nunnery on her own will." The green queen trills her lips. 

"Aw come on! Nothing about me?"

"I think she thought that if she never married Henry, she would've never met you. Plus, you would've started dating today in the 21st century." The second queen shrugs in a 'yeah, I guess you're right' kind of way.

"Okay fine." A moment of silence passes as the two of us think of specific lyrics. "Here. I got somethin'. _He got down on one knee, but I said NO WAY! Packed my bags and moved in to a nunnery. Joined the gospel choir, our riffs were on fire--at the top of the charts is where I'm gonna stay._ "

"First off, was that a Sister Act reference?" Anne's eyes widen in realization.

"Not originally, though it could be."

"Got it. Also, when she says nunnery, it could be like _n-n-nunnery_. That way it's kind of like referencing No Way." My cousin eagerly nods and quickly makes the change. "Alright your turn."

We eventually come up with sections for each of us, me having to come up with mine then and there since I didn't think of it before. _I mean, isn't it obvious how I'd rewrite it?_ It comes to the point where the last thing we need is the bridge before we can start with the instruments.

"So, you said you wanted to keep the melody of Ex-Wives?" I nod. "Okay, we could start with some of the words but alter it slightly, that way the audience is like 'oh wait, that's from the first song'." Anne places her fingers on the piano. "Like, _it's the end of the show, of the histo-remix. We switched up the flow, and we changed the prefix. Everybody knows that we used to be six wives._ " 

"Okay, I like that. We could like talk specifically to the audience--is that fourth wall breaking? We're already performing for them?" The green queen shrugs. "Ugh, fine. But anyway, here's what I'm thinking." The two of us quickly switch positions. " _But we wanna say before we drop the curtain: nothing is for sure, nothing is for certain. All that we know is that we used to be six wiiiiiiiiives!_ "

"Then BOOM! Key change and we're back to the chorus!" _Well, done writing!_

* * *

" _For five, four, three, two, one more minute! We're six!_ " The two of us sing out into the microphones. We wait for a few seconds before stopping the recordings, adding them into the project file, and breathing out a sigh a relief.

"YES WE'RE DONE!" Anne exclaims. I follow up with a more calm agreement.

_This is definitely the best song in the musical._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to search up hamilton lyrics just so i could have anne make the reference. I didn't even listen to the song i just searched up the lyrics.


	11. Megasix!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beheaded cousins wrap things up with the megasix!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to everyone who's commented on this fic!
> 
> special thanks to the_glare_you_see for commenting on every chapter (except the first lol, it's fine glare)!
> 
> love you guys and hope you enjoy this last chapter!

"One last thing before we leave." I tell Anne. "The one thing that will set us apart from ALL MUSICALS MWA HA HA!" My older cousin chuckles at my attempted evil laugh. 

"Bro, that was so bad!" She manages to comment between laughs. "But yeah, this mashup is gonna be lit!" After some going back and forth about how amazing this is gonna be, we calm down, and actually get to work. "Okay. The first section has got to have us introducing the ladies again, because they're amazing, and we gotta thank them for all the hard work they do."

"You mean _will_ do. If everyone accepts."

"Yeah. Whatever." Anne dismisses my comment and turns to the script.

**Kat: LONDON!!!!! Do you want one more song?**

"Anne, what if they say no?"

"That, my baby cousin, is the power of improv!"

**Alright stand up on your feet! Hit it Maria!**

**Catherine: London clap your hands!**

**Anna: Get your phones out, you're gonna wanna film this!**

**Cath: And most importantly, get ready to dance!**

**All: HEY!**

"Let's have you guys introduce your own ladies in waiting. So, you introduce Maggie, Anna for Bessie, Jane for Joan, and Catherine for Maria."

"Right." She says this as she writes it down, not hesitating to continue brainstorming. "So, for the mashup, it'd make sense for us to go in order, and I had this idea for Lina's transition to mine." The green queen puts the pencil down as she finishes, and moves her attention to the piano. _Damn. You're really cracking down on this last parr-t huh?_ " _You must think that I'm crazy, you wanna replace me? Baby there's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way!_ " The second queen hums the next two lines before singing again. " _N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-not sorry!_ And then we go into mine."

"Oooh! I also think it'd be cool if Catherine like interrupts. Like: _Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said. I'm just tryin' to have some fun-- N-N-NO WAY! Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your head. I didn't mean to hurt anyone!_ "

"We should keep with the interrupting theme. Or at least overlap. We could have Jane sing her chorus and then I sing the 'LOL. Say oh well' part like in the background."

"You know, I'd ask for a sample, but I'm just gonna trust you since you can't sing both at the same time."

"I also think it'd be cool if......uh...." Anne trails off, and I can only assume she doesn't know how to explain it. "Just listen. _All you wanna do your best. But I'll stand the test. You'll find that I've, got a heart of sto-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-one. WOAH!_ "

"Did you stick my song in there?"

"Yeah. Fits well, don't you think?"

"Yeah yeah. I also wanna interrupt Anna's part. Sorry, I mean parr-t."

"COULD YOU THINK OF A DIFFERENT PUN FOR ONCE?" Anne yells out, as she can never appreciate the cleverness in puns.

"Sorry, I don't _Millie_ care what you think." I say with a wink.

"Really? _Really_?"

"If that's the case, I'll just _Boleyn_ writing Anna's section." _She hates this, and it's hilarious._

"Your puns suck." I ignore the ignorant queen and work on the next solo.

" _All alone. On a throne, in a palace that I happen to--only thing you wanna--too bad I don't agree 'cause. I'M THE QUEEN OF THE CASTLE! GET DOWN YOU DIRTY RAS-CA-A-AL!_ " Anne breathes out a sigh--probably relieved I'm not making anymore puns at the moment.

"It's good. I can only assume that it goes into yours from there?" I nod.

"I also wanna change the words a bit. To something like....um..... _All you wanna do, all you wanna do babe is sing along to your FAVORITE QUEEN'S SONG!_ "

"Hold up! Why do you get to say that?"

"Because Annie. It's part of my character." _I'll pity you Anne and hold off on the puns. For now. I will never stop._ "K Howard roast? Hellooooooooo."

"Whatever. Just continue."

"Alrighty then. _All you wanna do, all you wanna do babe is love me, love me_."

" _L-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-love!_ " Anne adds on. I quiet myself to let the green queen continue. " _No, no. I don't need your love. No, no. It's time to rise above! No, no!_ And then we should go into harmony here. _We don't need your lo-o-o-OVE! 'Cause we're so much more than,_ "

"Okay, first off, that transition is genius!" The second queen flips her hair dramatically, and as usual, I laugh at her antics. "Second, I think we should go back to the repeated phrase from Ex-Wives. So it's like, we're so much more than what we're defined as." Anne backtracks a line to go into the new addition.

" _'Cause we're so much more than, DIVORCED! BEHEADED! DIED! DIVORCED! BEHEADED! SURVIVED! WE'RE!_ Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum! And then we sing the name of our band at the end!"

"Yes. Yes. And have I said, YES! I love it!"

"So, let's record it, and we'll be all set for tomorrow's reveal!"

_Damn. We actually wrote everything over the course of like 1 and 1/2 days. How many people can do that? No one except me and my cousin! We're amazing!_

_And the others are going to LOVE it!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS IT'S DONE! phew.
> 
> if y'all (yes, i said y'all) wanna read the others reactions--in other words, the reveal--keep an eye on the series! i'll be posting it as a new work
> 
> hope you enjoyed!


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